Sunday, August 30, 2009

The Ballad of Mel Gibson

(A blast from the past. Sung to the tune of The Ballad of Jed Clampett)

Come and listen to my story 'bout a star named Mel,
He was drunker than a skunk, now he's really catchin' hell,
One night he got pulled over down in Malibu,
And he asked the cop a question: "Hey, are you a Jew?"

Sheeny, that is.
Nickel nose.
Red Sea pedestrian.

Well, the next thing you know it's all over CNN,
And the Hollywood hebes said "He'll never work again!"
And the spin folks said, "Next time take a cab!"
So now it's gonna be ninety days of rehab.

Betty Ford, that is.
Carrot juice.
Twelve steps.

Well, the moral to my story is this, forsooth,
If you're gonna get hammered, don't never speak the truth.
Don't never speak your mind about a certain Tribe.
When you're talking to a cop, just offer a bribe.

Less trouble that way.
Keep the ADL off your ass.
Christ-killing bastards.

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